The Ministry of Uncertain Things (MoUT) was formed in the spring of 1942 to work in unison with the already existing Ministry of Social Development (MSD) to provide assistance in the provision of celebrations to long serving members of its party arm.
This Ministry was set up and given special provisions and assets from the pubic sector (some $800,000.00 was set aside for it's first portfolio) and was set the task of arranging a celebration for the newly appointed Air Vice-Marshal of the NZ Air force, the Right Honourable Lord, Sir David Bartholomew Smedley Vale Marriott, KCB, CBE, DSO, MC, DFC, AFC, DCM, GM, MM, DFM, AFM, BEM and his bride, the Right Honourable Lady Cherryl Eileen Marriott, DBE, DSO to celebrate their 40 years of Marriage.
After months of strategic planning by several arms (and legs) of the Ministry's many devisions, a plan was placed in front of the chief Party Planning Officer, Wing Commander G. M. Buckley of HQ devision and an order was given to carry out all necessary duties to see that the party arrangements run as efficiently as a Nazi labour camp cleaning company.
After several more months of careful, secretive planning, making, sorting, communicating (with other agencies, special operations teams and the wife) and may hours of stamping documents, cutting through red tape, reattaching red tape, cutting through it a second and sometimes third time and then filing carefully worded documents into the correct "in box" the day of the party arrived.
The 40th celebrations for Air Vice-Marshal of the NZ Air force, the Right Honourable Lord, Sir David Bartholomew Smedley Vale Marriott, KCB, CBE, DSO, MC, DFC, AFC, DCM, GM, MM, DFM, AFM, BEM and his bride, the Right Honourable Lady Cherryl Eileen Marriott, DBE, DSO went without hitch and indeed a promotion was soon on the cards for Wing Commander Buckley, elevating him to the position of Group Captain and a new posting to the Bahamas.
However, after accounts for the party were released to the offices of Regional Expenditure and Coloured tape (red mostly), it was discovered that only a mere fraction of a percent was actually spent on the celebrations, leaving many hundreds of thousands of dollars unaccounted for. This prompted an internal inquiry resulting in the expeditious demotion of both the Air Vice-Marshal, the Right Honourable Lord, Sir David Bartholomew Smedley Vale Marriott (many letters) and Group Captain Buckley (none).
The Offices of the Ministry of Uncertain Things were soon after closed in 1943. All papers, transcripts, those little sticky paper notes and all other official material was compiled into a single file, placed within an old filing cabinet, locked, opened, locked again, set on fire, then the ashes buried at low tide at an undisclosed beach somewhere in Seatoun.
For future enquiries to the Ministry, please use the dust-pan and brush provided at the old telephone box located outside the girl guides club house, Strathmore.
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